THAT SQUAT BOT

Keen-eyed readers may have noticed that this blog has not been updated since January.. and the more astute among you will have picked up it was not updated with any passion for long before that (I'm still getting emails from dodgy SEO companies saying how much they "love" my updates, so they're clearly not that keen-eyed. But I digress).

If you have an interest in health and fitness, please visit and follow my new fitness blog, That Squat Bot. If not, no worries! I'll see you around.

SHINE ON YOU CRAZY DIAMOND

Last September my dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and received treatment until April. My mum and I had a fantastic summer with him, going on days out to gardens, antiques centres, my Foundation Degree graduation; my parents even went away for a week in Cornwall.

He started going downhill late August when it was discovered the original tumour had grown and also spread to his liver. For the most part he wasn't in any pain and he passed away at home on Wednesday with my mum and I by his side.

Without my dad I would undoubtedly not be the same person I am today: he shaped my taste in music, books, comedy, travel, and also my outlook on life. "Bugger it" was our motto, and I often hear "you're definitely your father's daughter". So not only have I lost my dad, but my best mate, too.

I wish I could offer others in the same situation advice but it's a little close to the bone right now, though I will say: stay close to one another, face up to the situation, be real. Say everything you want to say exactly when you want to say it. Take what doctors say at face value. Make friends with your nurses. And if you have Macmillan Cancer Support in your area, use them, they will be your life support and without them I am sure my family would have had to face losing my dad much sooner than this.

Though I consider my online and real life to be quite separate things, I couldn't not share my recent sad news with you all. After all, I have met many great friends through this blog, some of whom have been a great support network for me. 

Bear with me. I will be back to fashion, blogging, my degree, and my job in time.

My dad in about 1998. Strangeness definitely runs in the family

FINGER BANG

This weekend was the first in ages I'd had off work, so I was looking forward to a messy Friday in Mancri-la-la's pubs, followed by a nice lie-in on Saturday morning.

Of course, life never runs to plan. My first mistake on Friday was to have a delicious lunch of mushroom soup at home. I washed the can, put that in the recycling, threw the lid in the bin. The second mistake was doing a Big Tidy of the flat. I had a lot of rubbish, and couldn't be bothered to empty the bin. I pushed it down to fit in more crap, and felt a sharp feeling on my finger.

It took me moment to figure out I'd managed to slice my finger with the lid of the mushroom soup can. I'm a First Aider, so I knew to apply some pressure. After 15 minutes and no sign of the bleeding stopping, I put a pressure bandage on. An hour later, I took the bandage off.. to find it still bleeding. Great. Off to Trafford General I go. Two hours later, I was home, with a glued up finger and instructions to not use it strenuously and to keep it dry for three days.

You'd be surprised how hard life is without the use of your index finger on your dominant hand. So far I've had difficulty washing my face, applying foundation, and drawing on my eyebrows. One could argue these are unnecessary, vain activities, but remember this is my weekend off work and I haven't had to tackle anything more necessary to my existence on the shop floor as of yet.

All that is now visible of what was quite a dramatic occurrence (to me) is a pathetic waterproof plaster. 

What an idiot.

I still treated myself to a Saturday lie-in, mind you, followed by a lovely cuppa at Manchester Coffee Co with a very lovely friend.

I'm wearing:

Evil Twin tee

Oasis gilet

H&M coat

Topshop skirt

Miista boots

Forever 21 bag

Delilah Dust necklace

Penguins on Hulme Hall Rd, Manchester

GET INSPIRED!

It's felt weird, not updating my blog over the past few days (even my mum noticed: "oh, it's 'Ban the Bomb', still") but despite being skeptical of Blue Monday it's quickly turned into a Blue Week for me. I've felt drained every night and the weather has been so cold and rubbish all I want to do is sit on the sofa, covered in fleece blankets.

I recognised that my week wasn't going to get any better by just laying about, so last night I got in bed and made a list of stuff to inspire me, complete with coloured pencils and shiny stickers. I've begun my list by reading some Romeo & Juliet: I thought beginning with a story I knew would help ease me into the language. I was right, Mercutio has just been killed and I'm just about getting the hang of it though I do really have to concentrate, which has had the desired effect of getting my brain into gear!

I've not exactly managed to get off Twitter yet... baby steps, baby steps.

A bit of reading, a bit of good news (finally) and Africa on the TV tonight are not exactly going to turn this Blue Week into a Super Rainbow Week, but it's a start; lots of little things make up the bigger picture, after all.

WHAT YEAR IS THIS ANYWAY?

Happy New Year to my wonderful blog readers! I hope you enjoyed last night, whether you were on a big one or just hanging out with your cat, but most of all I hope 2013 is happy, healthy, and successful for you, whatever you choose to do. I rang in 2013 by dancing to an eclectic mix of music at Funkedemia with my friends (Groove is in the Heart was the midnight song, FYI), then at 4am going to the curry mile for a saag paneer. Apparently getting a curry in the early hours of New Year's Day is a bit of a Manchester thing, which I hadn't heard of before.. that's a box ticked off now, right?

My dressing essentials for New Year's Eve are a comfy-cool dress, dancing shoes, and a coat that you're happy to throw into a cloakroom, or on a floor. I can't believe the amount of people I saw out minus outerwear last night.. maybe I'm getting old.

2012 has been a weird one for me and I've grown up tenfold. I've come to realise what is really important to me, made better friends than I have done throughout my entire life (some through this blog) and grown closer to those I loved already. I'm not a fan of resolutions - they tend to be unachievable and get broken quickly - but I do set some aims which I work towards throughout the year:

1. Learn all the words to Nicki Minaj's Starships.. purely for boyfriend amusement purposes.
2. Look after my mum and dad as best I can.
3. Spend more time doing quality things, like seeing friends, reading novels, going to the cinema, painting & drawing, visiting galleries and museums.. and less time procrastinating (ie refreshing my Tumblr dashboard).
4. Focus my efforts on getting a visual merchandising job in June. If anyone hears of any Manchester-based junior VM jobs going.. help a girl out! You can find some of my VM work & reporting under my Visual Merchandising tag or on my Portfolio page (though they need drastically updating.. that's another goal right there).
5. Keep my dressing room a bit tidier, hang stuff up at the end of the day. Why is that so hard to do? Am I really fifteen years old?!

Totally specific, measurable, achievable.. yada, yada, yada. Of course goals are not just for the start of the year, and these will be modified and added to as time passes, but let's just see how we go for now, eh?

I'm wearing:

Minkpink dress

Topshop necklace & bag

Office shoes

H&M coat

DOODLING

I've always been a perfectionist; even my year 3 maths teacher said so. I just thought I was slow and not very good at maths, but apparently I was just spending that time ensuring my answers were immaculate. Taking lots of time to get everything right is great, but with it comes anxiety and stress... I can't leave something unless I think it's just so, no matter how long I've been working on it, and if I'm not very good at something then to me it is simply not worth doing. I quit.

Not only am I a perfectionist, but I'm also a control freak, so the fact that there are many things out of my control happening in my life lately has been making me more anxious than ever. I'm like a cat: I may look cool as a cucumber, but actually inside my own head I'm jumping somersaults and my brain is racing around, trying to think of solutions to every problem under the sun.

People have different ways of dealing with these feelings: usually exercise (I lose interest quickly), eating (I feel rotten afterwards), or drinking (just not a good idea, really). But finally - finally after 27 years of being a bit of a neurotic - I think I've cracked it. Drawing, painting and scrapbooking. Lately I've been sat with my sketchbook for hours, happy just to make nice colours and shapes, not really caring whether something gets totally finished or if I'm not all that good at it. Because it just doesn't matter, and I like that. I like it when my hands get covered in rainbow pastels and when the paint is too watery and runs, and there's not a damn thing I can do to stop it.

I'm happy even just doodling hearts and smudging chalk. If that's what I fancy doing that day, I do it.

I may spend the rest of my time writing lists, bossing people, and generally doing things at a hundred miles an hour, but I know when I sit with my sketchbook I'm slowing life down and doing something just for me.

What do you do to chill out? Do you ever feel like life is running away with you..?

NAMASTE

Lovely followers - of which there has been a jump in numbers in the week since I last posted, maybe that's a hint not to blog quite so much - please accept these additional photos of my favourite Fashion Week outfit, plus a bit of Company lovin' for my vintage jumpsuit, as an apology for not being around as much recently. There's something going on in my personal, non-fashion life (I have one of those! Yes) which I will be focusing my energy on, and whilst I will still be posting here it won't be with the frequency and dedication to which you are accustomed. If you like we can keep in touch via Twitter and I will of course be keeping up with your blogs during downtime.

Thanks for reading, and I'd really appreciate you sending some positive energy my way... Namaste.

  H&M sample leather dungarees  Minkpink dress (underneath)  Office shoes  Louis Vuitton scarf Forever 21 jacket   Accessorize hat  Vintage jumpsuit  Acne shoes  Old faithful Zara bag Urban Outfitters sunglasses
(last image nicked from Pearl)