Monday 25 November 2013

SHINE ON YOU CRAZY DIAMOND

Last September my dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and received treatment until April. My mum and I had a fantastic summer with him, going on days out to gardens, antiques centres, my Foundation Degree graduation; my parents even went away for a week in Cornwall.

He started going downhill late August when it was discovered the original tumour had grown and also spread to his liver. For the most part he wasn't in any pain and he passed away at home on Wednesday with my mum and I by his side.

Without my dad I would undoubtedly not be the same person I am today: he shaped my taste in music, books, comedy, travel, and also my outlook on life. "Bugger it" was our motto, and I often hear "you're definitely your father's daughter". So not only have I lost my dad, but my best mate, too.

I wish I could offer others in the same situation advice but it's a little close to the bone right now, though I will say: stay close to one another, face up to the situation, be real. Say everything you want to say exactly when you want to say it. Take what doctors say at face value. Make friends with your nurses. And if you have Macmillan Cancer Support in your area, use them, they will be your life support and without them I am sure my family would have had to face losing my dad much sooner than this.

Though I consider my online and real life to be quite separate things, I couldn't not share my recent sad news with you all. After all, I have met many great friends through this blog, some of whom have been a great support network for me. 

Bear with me. I will be back to fashion, blogging, my degree, and my job in time.

My dad in about 1998. Strangeness definitely runs in the family

22 comments:

  1. Thinking of you and sending you so, so much love. x

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  2. My thoughts are with you and your family, Sarah - it might not mean much but if you ever need a chat with someone removed from the situation I'm always in town x

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  3. Oh sweetheart, sending so much love your way. If you want to just rant and let off steam my inbox is always open xx

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  4. Oh Sarah I'm so sorry. Sending lots and lots of love xxx

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  5. I'm so sorry to hear this. Thinking of you xx

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  6. Thinking of you and your mumma. Big love space girl <3 xxxx

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  7. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Sending you and your mum virtual hugs- my thoughts will be with you both xxx

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  8. So sorry to hear about your loss, Sarah. My thoughts are with you and your mum <3 xx

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  9. Oh Sarah, I am so sorry. I am aching for you so much. I am amazed you have written so eloquently but then I remember doing the same sort of thing myself in the days after my dad died. The phrase 'you are your father's daughter' is one I've heard so often over the last 5 years since then, and its one I'm very proud to hear each time. It reminds me that his influence is all around even, even after all this time. Your da must have been a special kind of guy to have produced a daughter like you (and I mean that in the best possible way!) If you want to talk or just to vent, send me an email. I'd love to hear your stories about him. Sending you so much love, and to your mum too.
    xxxxx

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  10. Thinking of you Sarah and your mum. Sending lots of love your way! xxxxxxx

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  11. Sarah, i am so sorry to hear this news. I can't imagine what you and your family have been through but i think it is great that you have written this. I'm just so happy that you had a great summer together and judging by the lovely photo of your Dad you have taken after him in his choice of fluffy accessories! Sending you hugs and love and i will be thinking of you and your family. xxxxxx

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  12. There is nothing that can really be said in situations like this; I am so sorry for your loss and I hope that over time the pain you are currently feeling fades. xx

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  13. So sorry to hear this news.
    thinking of you ^_^

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  14. So sorry to hear about your dad, sending my love to both you and your mum, hope to see you soon xxx

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  15. I am so sorry to hear about your sad news, my thoughts are with you and your family sending you lots of love hun xxx

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  16. So sorry to read this Sarah, thoughts are with you and your family - massive hug Selina xxx

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  17. not sure what to say but my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. take care, jen x

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  18. I'm so sorry to hear about this, beautiful. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I'm sure your dad is so proud of you, what you've achieved and what a strong lady you are. If you ever need anything I'm only a message away.

    ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

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  19. I'm so sorry to hear this Sarah, I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through right now. Take you're time & take care of yourself & your Mum. My thoughts are with you & the rest of your family too, sending lots of love & hugs!

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  20. Oh Sarah, I feel like the crappiest Twitter/blog pal ever, I had no idea your dad passed away recently... I'm so sorry. I knew he was poorly but I totally missed this post. Sending you and mama Harradine the squishiest hugs ever. My grandad has been fighting Cancer for a few years and I'm pretty much in denial about the whole thing, whenever I've spotted your tweets about your dad in the past, I'd get a little pang. I also know how awesome the Macmillan nurses are, they mean a lot to my gramphs. Anyhoo, I'm here if you ever need a virtual rant or anything. Lots of love. <3

    Tara xo

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    1. You are a great Twitter pal for keeping me amused and occupied during a tough time :) I don't expect people to keep up to date with my blog! I'm sorry to hear about your grandad - but glad to hear he has the support of the Macmillan gang. Cancer is evil but they are so wonderful.
      xoxoxox

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  21. Oh my love. I'm so, so sorry to hear about your dad passing. From what you've said about him, he sounds like an absolute legend!

    Thoughts are with you and your family. *big virtual hugs*

    Lima

    xo

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